Never Say

When life changes in a way you don't know, you tend to resist. Of all the crazy possibilities that can be with lives, I think this one is my favourite. I don't know if you see what I see or what you see at all, but I saw that I wasn't asked to shut up or grow up or dress differently or think less dark or be less embarrassingly clumsy. If I have changed, it happened so naturally that I didn't even notice. I guess that's the only way you do not resist a change that you do not foresee, when your life changes completely, and you don't have to change at all. 

Thank you.

Never say

Things that you cannot talk about

For the fear that they will stop being.

Like how you never talk about what

Made you grin and your eyes were shut so

I couldn’t read them.

The small unmentionables that

I would rather smile to myself about.

Like you never mention the times

When you forgive me and why.

Like grateful palms hidden under sleeves

That stretch way down the knuckles.

Too bad they went unheard, these observations

Of peculiar chews,

Day-wear shoes,

Loose clothing,

Secret loathing,

Submission to pain,

The slightest weight gain,

Fortunate glances,

Happy dances,

Days of scruff and dust,

Unmistakable trust,

An absurd jinx,

Touchy things,

Material wishes,

Intangible relishes,

Scarlet hue,

That i love you,

Collecting clutter,

The nervous stutter,

Slight nudges,

Growing-up grudges,

Smug pride for each other,

What you’re called by your mother…

But never saying it.

Like looking at what we share

But choosing to squint.

So I know I’ll learn to see it even

On days I see less of it or with little care.

Knowing, however, that there’s

More life in that doesn’t speak but keeps

Your secret jars of clutter from breaking.

Like breathing through your ear into your pillow

And hearing it breathe back.