When life changes in a way you don't know, you tend to resist. Of all the crazy possibilities that can be with lives, I think this one is my favourite. I don't know if you see what I see or what you see at all, but I saw that I wasn't asked to shut up or grow up or dress differently or think less dark or be less embarrassingly clumsy. If I have changed, it happened so naturally that I didn't even notice. I guess that's the only way you do not resist a change that you do not foresee, when your life changes completely, and you don't have to change at all.
Things that you cannot talk about
For the fear that they will stop being.
Like how you never talk about what
Made you grin and your eyes were shut so
I couldn’t read them.
The small unmentionables that
I would rather smile to myself about.
Like you never mention the times
When you forgive me and why.
Like grateful palms hidden under sleeves
That stretch way down the knuckles.
Too bad they went unheard, these observations
Of peculiar chews,
Submission to pain,
The slightest weight gain,
Days of scruff and dust,
An absurd jinx,
That i love you,
The nervous stutter,
Smug pride for each other,
What you’re called by your mother…
But never saying it.
Like looking at what we share
But choosing to squint.
So I know I’ll learn to see it even
On days I see less of it or with little care.
Knowing, however, that there’s
More life in that doesn’t speak but keeps
Your secret jars of clutter from breaking.
Like breathing through your ear into your pillow
And hearing it breathe back.